20 Years?!!

The other day I read that the original version of Super Mario Kart is now over 20 years old. This bit of information shocked and dismayed me in ways that I was entirely unprepared for. There are two main reasons why this news bothered me. One, while I am intellectually aware that a lot of time has passed it simply doesn't feel like that much time has gone by. The second, and far more surprising, reason is that I'm rather shocked at just how little my personality has changed since I was a fifteen year old playing Mario Kart with my friends for the first time ever.

It's this second subject I'd like to look at a little more in depth.

First of all I'd like to point out that I have no problems with the concept of aging.  If anything I can honestly say that for the most part the older I've gotten the happier and more comfortable with myself I've gotten.  So if age isn't what shocked my system, what is.  Well let me put it this way.  As I sit here writing I am drinking a beer, watching a movie about immortal swordsmen, all while wearing a Captain America themed t-shirt.  In other words, I'm still a 15 year old.  I just happen to be in a 35 year old's body.

I think the movie Big was actually a documentary about my future life.  (Not sure how the filmmakers pulled off that particular trick.)

Even this doesn't really bother me exactly.  It's just that it is supremely weird to have this fact thrown in your face with the cold hard fact of an anniversary date for something that you still hold oddly dear. 

I... suddenly realize that I didn't really have anything else to say.  Odd, I thought I did, but at the moment I can't think of anything else to put down.

Still I have to say it's felt good to write even if it really wasn't to say much.

Editor:  God.  You're trying to do this again?

Oh, hey.  I was wondering when you were going to show up.

Editor:  Well seeing as I'm usually the only piece of actual content in these posts, it's hardly surprising that I'm here once you have writer's block, now is it?

I'm not sure that I would say you are the only piece of content.

Editor:  Alright.  Fine.  Have it your way.  The only well received piece of content.

Actually, I know that's not true.  My most popular post was my "Ninjas vs. Naked Women" post.  And you aren't in that one at all.

Editor:  That's the article with the sexy girl in the ninja outfit down on all fours, right?  Tell me.  Which makes more sense to you?  People came here for your insights, or people came here for a picture of a pretty girl?

I..  er..  I mean, I'm sure some came here for my opinions...

Editor:  Uh huh.  Sure.  Whatever helps you to sleep at night.

You know, you really aren't very nice.  Have you ever considered that conversations like this are the entire reason I don't update this thing very often?

Editor:  Though about it?  Hell I've been counting on it.  The longer you are away, the happier I am.

You know, if you really dislike me that much, you really don't have to be here.  Just find something else to do.  Take a vacation.  I hear North Korea is really nice this time of year.

Editor:  Oh yeah.  That will work.  What exactly would these posts be without me?  (In a mocking impression of myself.)  Oh look at me.  I'm a sarcastic child of the 80's whose way to interested in stuff from 20 years ago.  Please.  That doesn't make you interesting, or unique.  It makes you a statistic.  One of hundreds if not thousands of people who have used the internet as a means to focus at length on this nostalgic nonsense.  I'm the only thing that sets this apart at all.  The only thing that makes your rants even slightly original.  That's my job.  To call you on your bullshit.  Your feelings be damned!

Wait.  That's your job?  I thought you were here to correct my punctuation and spelling.

Editor:  What?  No!  Have you ever looked back at any of this stuff? 

Well, yeah.  I just thought you were really bad at your job.

Editor:  Dick.

Didn't you just tell me that was your job?

Editor:  And now you're finally beginning to understand my role.

So. We are just stuck with each other then?

Editor:  For better or for worse.  Or in my case a whole lot worse.

I'm sorry?

Editor:  Don't be.  One day I'll finally break you for good, and then I'll never have to worry about you writing in this damn thing again.

Maybe it will be this time.

Editor:  I'm nowhere near that lucky.

Then I guess I'll see you next time?

Editor: Whatever.