Telephone

(Originally posted Tuesday, June 24, 2008)

We've all done it at least once. I am of course talking about taking the winding path through youtube. You know, when you do one search and then about two hours later you realize you're watching something completely different than what you started with because you keep clicking on the "related videos". Really I think of this like that old game telephone, where the statement is completely different by the time it makes it's way through the room.

Totally innocent and mildly amusing.

However this is what happens when I do it.

It all started with me doing a google search on my name. Turns out there's an Irish comedian with the same fucking name. So I thought I look up some of his act.



Not my favorite, but all in all not horrible. Then I moved on to the following clip.



Now I have to admit this made me laugh my ass off. Richard Simmons gaying it up to 11. (For the record I don't mean "gay" as a negative phrase here. I mean that he wants to fuck the shit out of all the other guys, while on stage. Just so we're clear.)

So we've seen a couple of comedy acts. Makes sense. About now you're probably thinking to yourself, "Why the fuck did this guy bother writing all this shit? Is there a point? Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time? I could be watching porn right now." After that last thought I would imagine that half of you have left to watch porn. I don't blame you. I wish I had done the same. Instead I witnessed this.



So... Yeah... WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING TO OUR KIDS?!!!!

This is the point when any sane person would have given up on the human race and gone to bed. Instead I wound up here.



Just to recap I started with a comedian, moved to a comedy act, then wound up on some sort of acid trip induced children's programing, and then we end here. A video of two people talking about how their love of getting fucked by a horse brought them together.

At this very moment I'm struggling not to curl up in a fetal position.

So the question is, "What does all this shit have in common?"

After much deliberation, and cursing of the human race, I think I have an answer. Drum roll please.

Bad Hair.

Good night. Sleep tight. And for the love of god, if you ever meet and marry someone because of your shared love of horse cock, do not, under any circumstances attempt to breed.

Fisto Aborto is always watching.